Korean changes its verb endings based on who you’re talking to. Three levels matter: formal 합니다 (official, business, news), polite 해요 (the everyday default - keeps the 요), and casual 반말 해 (close friends, younger people - drops the 요). 존댓말 = polite/respectful speech (해요 + 합니다); 반말 = casual speech. When unsure, always use 해요 - it’s never rude.
In English you say “where are you going?” to your boss and your best friend the same way - your tone changes, but the words don’t. Korean is different: the sentence itself rebuilds depending on the relationship. Get the level right and you sound respectful and natural; get it wrong and you can accidentally sound cold, or shockingly rude, without meaning to. Here’s the whole system, simplified.
The three levels at a glance
Take one verb - 가다 (to go) - and watch it change:
| Level | “(I) go” | Feel | Use with |
|---|---|---|---|
| 합니다 (formal 존댓말) | 갑니다 | Official, professional | Business, news, first meeting, military |
| 해요 (polite 존댓말) | 가요 | Polite but warm | Almost everyone - the safe default |
| 반말 (casual) | 가 | Intimate, relaxed | Close friends, younger people, family |
The dividing line is respect: 합니다 and 해요 are both 존댓말 (respectful); 가 is 반말 (casual). Notice that the whole difference lives in the ending.
해요 vs 합니다: both polite, different weight
Beginners often think “more formal = more polite = better.” Not quite. 해요 is the everyday polite form - warm, friendly, and correct in the vast majority of situations. 합니다 is more formal, which can feel stiff or distant in casual settings but is exactly right for official ones.
| Situation | Better choice |
|---|---|
| Chatting with a shopkeeper, coworker, new friend | 해요 |
| Job interview, presentation, customer service | 합니다 |
| News broadcast, announcement, military | 합니다 |
| Texting an acquaintance politely | 해요 |
The practical takeaway: learn 해요 first and use it everywhere. Add 합니다 for formal moments. You will rarely go wrong.
How the endings are built
| Verb | 합니다 (formal) | 해요 (polite) | 반말 (casual) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 가다 (go) | 갑니다 | 가요 | 가 |
| 먹다 (eat) | 먹습니다 | 먹어요 | 먹어 |
| 좋다 (good) | 좋습니다 | 좋아요 | 좋아 |
| 학생이다 (be a student) | 학생입니다 | 학생이에요 | 학생이야 |
The pattern is beautifully consistent: 반말 is just 해요 with the 요 removed (가요 → 가, 먹어요 → 먹어). The only special case is “to be”: 이에요/예요 becomes 이야/야 in 반말. Master the 해요 form and you get 반말 almost for free.
반말: powerful, and easy to misuse
반말 signals closeness and equality - it’s the language of friendship and family. But dropping the 요 with the wrong person is one of the fastest ways to offend in Korean.
The 반말 rules
- OK with: close friends your age, people clearly younger, children, and close family of equal/lower rank.
- Not OK with: strangers, elders, teachers, bosses, or anyone senior - even if they’re friendly.
- Don’t switch first. The older/senior person offers it - 말 놓으세요 or 말 편하게 해 (“speak comfortably”). Wait for that cue.
- Age matters. Even one year older can mean they keep 존댓말 from you until they offer 반말.
Seeing all three together
| English | 합니다 | 해요 | 반말 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Where are you going? | 어디 가십니까? | 어디 가요? | 어디 가? |
| Have you eaten? | 식사하셨습니까? | 밥 먹었어요? | 밥 먹었어? |
| Thank you | 감사합니다 | 고마워요 | 고마워 |
Note the formal column also swaps in honorific verbs (가시다, 식사하시다) - that’s the next layer of respect, built on top of the speech level.
Hear the right level for every situation
Speech levels are about feel, and feel comes from hearing real Korean. Hanguljo teaches every verb ending across TOPIK 1–6 lessons with native audio, so 해요, 합니다 and 반말 are grounded in real sentences. A 7-stage SRS keeps the forms in memory and conversation shadowing trains you to switch levels naturally - the way Koreans actually do.
Learn Korean with Hanguljo - FreeFrequently asked questions
What is the difference between 존댓말 and 반말?
존댓말 is polite/respectful speech (the 해요 and 합니다 forms), used with strangers, elders and superiors. 반말 is casual speech (the 요 dropped), used with close friends, younger people and family. 어디 가요? is 존댓말; 어디 가? is 반말.
What is the difference between 해요 and 합니다?
Both are polite. 해요 is soft and conversational - the everyday default. 합니다 is more formal and official, for business, news, the military and first meetings.
When can I use 반말?
Only with close friends of similar age, people clearly younger, children, or close family - and usually only after both sides agree to drop formality. With strangers or elders, use 존댓말.
How do I switch from 존댓말 to 반말?
Mechanically, drop the 요: 가요 → 가, 먹어요 → 먹어; and 이에요/예요 → 이야/야. Socially, wait for the senior person to offer it (말 놓으세요).